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I'm not sure if I'm alone on this, but I have a serious pet peeve with ex girlfriends and new girlfriends all of a sudden becoming close friends. Of course there are some situations where this may be acceptable, but for the most part I think it's unnecessary. If you weren't cool with each other before, why start now? Hear me out...
Nine times out of ten, one of the girls in this situation is befriending the other for selfish reasons. The new girlfriend could possibly be trying to get information from the ex about her man. Naturally if you're "friends" you're gonna be talking about the man you BOTH have had, and what better person to get all the scoop from than his ex girlfriend?? Also by befriending the ex girlfriend, the new girlfriend can learn things about her man she may not know yet. Sometimes it takes men a long time to expose themselves and their true colors, so the ex girlfriend can provide information that has yet to be discovered.
Now the new chick is probably in it for selfish reasons as well, however her objective is different. Women (whether we like to admit it or not) are jealous creatures. Even if she doesn't wanna get back with her ex, she can still be spiteful to mess up what he has with his new girlfriend. Think about it like this, maybe the new chick is having problems with the guy and the ex is filling her head up and telling her about all the good things that he used to do for her. It may not even be intentionally, but all it takes is for the ex to mention one thing that he did for her... Especially if the new girlfriend doesn't get the same treatment.
On the other hand this could work two ways. Say the guy is treating the new girlfriend way better than he treated the ex. She starts feeling some type of way. Perhaps she never really lost feelings for him. By the new girlfriend telling the ex everything he's doing for her, she might make the ex want him back. Now what if he isn't over the ex either? Ole girl would be SOL lmao... You have to be realistic in situations like this, especially being the current girlfriend. It's a huge possibility that this so called friendship could hurt your relationship in the long run, so think before you make moves.
As I've stated in previous posts, friendships and relationships are built based on trust. There's no way I would be able to trust my ex's current girlfriend or my current boyfriend's (if I had one) ex girlfriend. First of all, they weren't around you beforehand, so how do you know you can trust them? You don't, therefore I wouldn't even put myself in that situation. Now I'm not saying you have to be mad and hold grudges over a guy AT ALL, but it's ok to speak and keep it moving. Too many females try to be friends with every girl they meet, remember not everyone is meant to be your friend!
If you were in this situation would you want to be friends with your ex boyfriend's current girlfriend? How about being friends with your current boyfriend's ex girlfriend? Let us know what you think!
Xoxo,
-LaBellaBoss <3
I think society plays a major role in painting the picture of ex's being spiteful against one another and playing the selfish role; however, guys tend to date girls that have similar characteristics/personalities or have something in common (most of the time) so if you become friends for the RIGHT reasons why not? Some good friendships come out of messed up events. I think its jus being mature about a situation and that's not saying leaving yourself vunerable either. You jus gotta kno who to trust and who u can't and that's for anybody. If what was done is really over then go for it! If you have to question the other person's motives then hell nah! But what works for some doesn't work for others so technically I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to the question
ReplyDeleteI agree, there really isn't a right or wrong. It really all depends on the extent of both relationships, the characters of the people involved, and of course trust. I do think it would put the guy in an awkward position, so I don't know how he would feel about it. But me personally, in my past relationships I wouldn't go out my way to become friends with any of my ex's current girlfriends. Now I do have an ex whose girlfriend I was previously cool with. Although I don't see her often, we still get along and chat from time to time. So it definitely can go either way with this, but as far as making a new close friend out of a SERIOUS ex boyfriend's new girl, I don't think I could do it
ReplyDeleteI have been in this situation. The ex and I did end up back-stabbing each other. It is best to speak and keep it moving. Lesson learned and I have moved on.
ReplyDeleteSorry it went down like that but at least u learned from it =)
ReplyDeleteGirl, lemme tell you (Typical conversation starter, lol). In high school, I was (and still am) friends with this girl that I grew up that asked "permission" to go out with someone I dated (and actually lost my virginity to) and I was perfectly fine with it. I was over the relationship and til this day, the guy & I are very cool with each other. The main topic of any convo we have is our children and how happy we are to be parents; there really isn't nothing to discuss. I have had females try to befriend me just to get to the ex and I wasn't having it. Gotta nip that sh*t in the bud from the beginning - don't let them in and think things are gravy, I am NOT a tool; don't use me to try to absorb some sort of information because it isn't going down...
ReplyDelete