|The Smiths (Will Smith is such an ideal father!)|
On the reruns of Basketball Wives (girlfriends, ex fiancés, mistresses, ex wives... whatever) a very important issue came up and it disturbed me. Kenny Anderson, a former basketball player, had been married to Tami Roman for 11 years and had two beautiful daughters with her. When they divorced, his girls were 4 and 6 and he had no contact, relationship, or financial relationship with them. The show now displays him working towards building a relationship with them at ages 14 and 16.
However the disturbing part is the fact that he made Tami sign a pre-nup and once divorced, she was left with ONLY $70,000! (OK..IF U THINK THIS IS A LOT OF MONEY TO RAISE A FAMILY UP NORTH, KEEP IN MIND THAT HE PLAYED IN THE NBA AND CONTINUE READING) Their mom admitted to resorting to government assistance, including food stamps, in order to raise her daughters on her own. (Shout out to Boss Chic moms doing it for their selves) Before I blow up, let me finish... Not only that but the issue was that he, the NBA ball player dad, had no emotional relationship with his daughters over the years which caused ultimate pain and resentment between them. His excuse was that their mom wouldn't let him see them. Couldn’t he have called? Yes but he said, "We could’ve done that all day. But if I couldn't see yall, then… " -basically he was saying what would be the point??
Sigh, let me just say this: I have a father in my life, a GREAT ONE, and it is definitely not based on money. Even though my dad may not be able to support all of my financial needs and desires, he does his best and if he had it I know he would go BROKE FOR ME. We also have never had to resort to any alternatives from the government to assist our family. (Not saying that my family is any better than any other family, but that shows it makes a difference having two supportive parents rather than one.) You mean to tell me that this dude making money on top of money let his daughters resort to food stamps because of his indiscretions with their Mom??? And not only that, he couldn't raise them mentally and emotionally, not even so much as make a phone call because to him that's not important? Not only is this disgusting, it’s downright disgraceful to all the MEN and real fathers busting their ass… Be it hustling, pulling doubles at BK, working 9 to 5, selling mixtapes, or anything to put food in their children's mouths.
Also, the love from a mother and a father is essential to a child's mindset. You as a parent created this special being, it is YOURS and that love for your own product should never be waivered. The relationship you establish is a foundation for that child to evolve as a person in life and is vital. How less of a man can you be to let ANYTHING come between you and your child. If you love something, NOTHING will get in the way of that. If you are a real man, you will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to take care of your family mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. There is nothing worse than a deadbeat dad. But a deadbeat dad that shows a deep passion for something else other than your child is scum.
The fact that this NBA player lacked the ability to be a father when he had all means to do right made me appreciate my dad much more. There should never be a woman or anything getting in the way of your role as a parent. Believe it or not, it matters. I don't understand it, but I have encountered many friends and loved ones who desire and resent not having a real father in their lives. If you are a father, that's your job FIRST. If you are being a deadbeat, take the time now to redeem yourself and become a leader because your children love and NEED YOU. You have to step up, and the mother's can't stop you!
For the BOSSES, young and old that are being the best fathers you can be, I salute you. You get the UTMOST RESPECT. YOU ARE HEROES!! No scratch that.. You are BOSS!! Salute!
I see you… and Love it #BAWSE