What Goes Around Comes Back Around, Hey My Baby



T.O. treated Mo & Kita horribly... now he's lonely and broke smh


Karma is real! I could start the post with that and end it with the same three words and it still wouldn't be enough to get it through the heads of many people out here. Just about every day, I'm seeing statuses on facebook and twitter about how real karma is and how this or that person is just going to sit back and watch karma get back those who have done them wrong in the past. I too believe strongly in karma; I'm always posting about how what you put out is what you get back and how you should treat others how you want them to treat you.

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"Her Life Was Stole, Now We'll Never Know..."



Anytime I think of someone young dying, I immediately think of Kelly Rowland's song "Stole" from 2002. Ashley Duncan was only 17 when she decided to end her own life. But this isn't just an ordinary suicide, she had been thinking about taking her life away for some time. Ashley Duncan was a well known student at Bellaire High School in Houston, TX. She had been posting to twitter and tumblr about how she wanted to end her life before she actually did.

According to a local news station from the area, Ashley had posted the following to her tumblr page:

"Life ain't worth the pain. if you know or have known what it feels like to want to die every minute second hour day week month year then you feel me…. I might not struggle financially but I struggle emotionally and mentally and I think that’s the worst struggle," Duncan wrote on Tumblr Sunday. "So in asking why can’t it be my choice to die now? … I’m miserable. One day I won’t be here anymore and that’ll be the happiest day of my life… I’m tired and I’m done with this life."

She had also posted to twitter that same day that she felt like God was punishing her for keeping her alive. All of this took place this past Sunday, then on Monday she ended her life after finding a gun. She even tweeted that she had found the gun. Later she had posted on Tumblr that she was ready to end her life and left her followers with one word... "Peace".

What makes this so different from other situations like this is that she played everything out over various social networks and none of her followers took her seriously. Different students at her school were saying they thought she was joking because she was known for joking and playing around. She had previously left Bellaire High School in October 2011 and was attending Pershing High School in hopes of graduating early, so no one really knows what was bothering her to push her so far.

The sad thing about this situation is the fact that she put it out there that she was going to do this and no one heard her cry for help. To know that she posted all the things on Tumblr and twitter, and NO ONE took her seriously says so much. I don't know if these issues that were bothering her were the cause for her switching schools or what, who knows what was going on in her life... but the fact that she posted about all of this on social networks should have opened some eyes. I don't think my friends would have took me as a joke if I had said all of these things, or at least I know someone would have checked to make sure I was good rather than laughing about it with me.

It's a really sad situation that her life ended so soon and so publicly, and I wonder how the people that know her and read her posts feel. That just goes to show you that you never know what anyone is going through, but if someone you know threatens to take their own life then you should definitely take them seriously because you never know their pain. It's bad enough that this teenager struggled with the thoughts of suicide, but for her to publicize her thoughts and no one hear her cry is just crazy to me. Everyone should say a prayer for her soul, her family and her friends and let's hope that this sends a message to the world that life is to be taken seriously.

Below are a screenshot of her tweets before she took her life and I've also posted the video of Kelly's single "Stole". Feel free to leave your thoughts or any comments you have about this situation below.

♥ Rest In Peace Ashley Duncan ♥

XOXO,

LaBellaBoss ♥

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Religion VS. Spirituality

Have you ever realized that the most religious people are the least spiritual? They get so caught up in the technicalities of their certain religion that they forget about the spiritual side of things. These are the ones who force their religious practices on you, and criticize you when you don't follow their practices. Everyone knows someone who is deep in the church, but is the biggest hypocrite or so judgmental that they don't even give people a chance.

Now I am a firm believer in God and I do make a conscious effort to do the right thing, but of course like anyone else I'm far from perfect. I make mistakes and I sin just like anyone else. Well I had someone tell me that because I don't do everything right in God's eyes that there is no need for me to even go to church... wait what?? Isn't that why they tell you to come as you are and that the church is open to everyone? Better yet, since when does actually going to church make you any more holy than anyone else? It doesn't if you're criticizing and judging the lives of others.

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[Positive Monday] No BS in 2012



Happy Monday Bosses and Boss Chics! I hope everyone had a great weekend, as I did for the most part! Of course we have to start our week on a positive note, and since it's still the beginning of the year what better what to start the week than to make a goal to cut out all bullshit from your life?

If you know me, for the most part you should know that I'm a very kindhearted person, and I can tend to be a pushover at times. I get a satisfaction out of making others happy, but sometimes I forget to put myself first. My initial goal of 2012 was to put all bs behind me, focus on what makes me and only me happy, and not worry about what anyone else has to say. I must say so far I'm doing very good! It starts to take a toll on you when you worry about what others will say about your actions, and at the end of the day only you have to live with them.

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Do We Spend Too Much On Our Kids' Clothes?

Tameka Raymond keeps her boys fly!

I read Common's book "One Day It'll All Make Sense" about two months ago and received some very helpful, quirky bits of advice throughout the entire book. One of the things that stood out to me the most was an excerpt from his mom giving insight on what it was like to raise him. Like myself she was a single mother raising a young boy, doing what she could to provide for him. But there was one thing she said that really caught my attention.

You know how people criticize the parents who are always dressed fly from head to toe but have their kids looking any kind of way? Well I agree with them 100% that you should never just have your kids looking ragged while you're sporting name brand and everything on you is fixed up. But Common's mother said something related to that in which I agree with even more. In a nut shell she feels that since she worked hard for everything that was provided for her and Common, then he wasn't getting anything new to wear if she didn't. Her specific argument was how could she go out and buy him everything name brand and have herself looking any kind of way, when she was the one bringing home the bread?

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Change Comes Eventually

Celebs on NYE

Happy New Year bosses and boss chics! I hope everyone brought it in safely and in good spirits. With the new year comes constant talk of changing for the better, changing ways, changing habits... All you see on Facebook and twitter statuses is change. On the contrary, you also see people posting about how we shouldn't wait until the new year to make changes that we know already should be made, which I totally agree with.

Since many make New Year's resolutions that they plan to stick to every year, I think this holiday is the one that is most centered around change and self reflection. But what I think we fail to realize is that we have to actually want to change in order to make it happen. How many times have you made a new year's resolution only to break it after a few weeks or months into the year? I do it all the time. More than anything it's because we're not actually ready for the change that we commit to, or we're not serious about getting there.

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It's Christmas Time Again...

I must say that I have slacked tremendously this month with the BCF but I will get better with the New Year! I planned to put out a lot of blogs this week, but unfortunately Trey caught a stomach bug on Monday then passed it to me yesterday. So I haven't really had much time or energy to do anything.

With Christmas right around the corner, I'm sad to say that I'm still not in the Christmas spirit yet. I'm sure all of that will change after today when I do my last minute Christmas shopping. Every single year I say I'm going to get my shopping out the way early, but I never do. Then I'm the one who will have an attitude while I'm out shopping because there's too many people in my way lol. Go figure!

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Overtime On You Cuz I'm Going To Work!

*throws shades on like a bawse*

Good morning bosses and boss chics! I give you permission to talk junk to me for my lack of posts, I know I've slacked off for the past two weeks but I promise I still had you guys in my heart :) I just finished up my last semester before receiving my associates degree last week, and I've been taking time for myself to just do nothing for once. I guess it's time for me to get my head back in the game, a break is always good but if you make it too long you'll get lazy! Trust me I know lol.

Since I didn't  do a post yesterday, this kind of ties in to Positive Monday, but from experience I felt like it needed to be said. As I said before, I really took a break and did absolutely nothing during the time that I wasn't blogging. I mean I played random games on my phone, read on my Kindle, watched Christmas movies with Trey, hung out with my friends and a special guy, etc. I really took time out for myself to just get away from everything and it felt great.

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[Positive Monday] Not So Good, But Still So Good



Good morning bosses and boss chics! I hope everyone had a good weekend and is ready to start their Monday in a positive way! Yesterday I went to church and one of the other ministers in our church gave the message instead of our actual preacher. She spoke about how things we go through in life really don't seem good at all and are actually painful to us, but in the end they help us to turn our lives around in a good way.

Sometimes it feels like we are going through the worst of the worst in life, but in reality those hardships help to make us who we are. When you can get through difficult struggles in life and still come out on top, it says a lot about your character and personal strength. It also shows that you really have God by your side.

I tweeted the other day that I love hearing celebrities' personal come up stories, especially the ones who experienced more struggle because they make me want to push harder. Those are the ones that I give the most respect because they never gave themselves any excuses as to why they could not make it. We all have to remember that no success comes without struggle, and no good without bad. If we didn't experience any bad, how would we learn to appreciate the good in life?

When I think about the celebrities who went through the most to get where they are, I mainly think about Mary J Blige and Jay Z. They both had a very disturbing past but just in different lights. Mary J Blige has always been one of my favorite artists because she has never been afraid to share her story, the REAL story. I respect her music so much because it can get you through just about any hard time in life. Below I've posted a video of her performing one of my favorite songs by her... this one gets me through everything and is one of my favorite motivatial songs. Check it out below! Have a #PositiveMonday!!

XOXO,

LaBellaBoss ♥



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Kyla Pratt Blogs About Her Daughter



Last night I was reading Necole Bitchie's blog and stumbled across a statement that Kyla Pratt had released concerning her one year old daughter, Lyric Kai. I'm not sure if you all knew this, but Kyla had a baby girl last year around this time by her boyfriend, Danny Kirkpatrick, and released this info publicly on 106 & Park a few weeks ago. Since then, she has been receiving lots of negativity from the media as well as the public. She decided to take to her tumblr page to respond to all the hate she has been getting lately.

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[Positive Monday] What Matters Most...

Zoe Saldana & her sister serving the homeless at a shelter in LA for Thanksgiving

Although I wish I could go back to Wednesday and start my Thanksgiving break over again, we have to be thankful for the fact that we've been allowed to see another week. On that note I have to wish everyone a Positive Monday! Whew I really do not know where to start for this post lol, my break was much needed and EPIC. 

I went to my aunt's house in Fairfax, VA to spend Thanksgiving with my mom's family which is always a good time no matter what. I love getting to spend time with my younger cousins because we all live in different areas and don't get to see each other often. It's so exciting getting to stay up with them in the middle of the night exchanging stories about our hometowns and life issues. 

When I got back on Friday, I ended up going to a local spot in my small hometown by myself. I had had a really long day and just wanted to get out and clear my head a little so I got dressed up and went out alone. Even though I went by myself, I never actually felt like it was just me. I saw different people that I hadn't seen in awhile, and I can be very sociable in a party scene so I didn't feel awkard at all.

On Saturday my girls came home from Richmond and we all went out that night to the same local spot I had went to the night before. Being that we're from a small town, there's always drama whenever an event goes on. I'm just thankful to be able to say that it's never myself or my friends who are caught up in anything. It's funny because my friends and I are very different as individuals, but we all compliment each other so well.

Friends, family, and loved ones should always come first during the holidays. I'm so grateful to have spent mine with those who matter the most. Now of course during the holidays, there's usually drama that comes with it, but still the good times ended up being greater than the bad for me. I went through something pretty difficult for myself on Thanksgiving Day that made me look at life a little differently, but I'm thankful that I've formed a stronger backbone and have learned to speak up for myself when I don't believe something is right. 

I  had said that I was going to do a post on what I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving, but with traveling and all the festivities I didn't get time to do the post. Therefore, I'll list those now to leave this on a positive note... I'm first of all thankful for life and for having a loving God who sees fit for me to continue to live. I'm very thankful for my son and how being his mother has allowed me to grow as a person. I'm thankful for my friends and family who I can depend on to support me and be real with me, yet still respect me as well. I'm thankful for my independent attitude and my nature to do things myself rather than waiting around for someone else to do them for me. I'm thankful for my means of providing for Trey and the fact that he has everything he needs. And to sum this all up, I'm thankful for where I've come from to get where I am, and the future that God has planned for me that's bigger than what I can see with my own eyes :)

I hope everyone has a #PositiveMonday!!

XOXO,

LaBellaBoss ♥

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...So I Know It's Real!

Not too long ago on twitter there was a trending topic that said #SoIKnowItsReal that was basically imitating the MMG song "Tattoo my name so I know it's real". This trending topic was built for people to tweet things that they wanted someone to do for them to let them know the love/relationship is real. I ended up going in on this for awhile and made jokes about it because I thought it was pretty funny. Yesterday my best friend Tia and I were joking about it, and we said that basic b*tches would say "Put a hickie on my neck #soIknowitsreal" LOL!

This made me wonder what makes people feel like their relationships are the real deal? At what point do you know for sure that certain person really cares about you? I don't think there's really a defining moment for me, but there are moments that lead up to me seeing that someone really cares. Like if they do little things just to make me smile or go out of their way to call me even when they're busy, then that makes me pretty happy and I feel like that person might genuinely care. As I said, I really pay attention to detail so if a guy goes out of his way to bring me lunch or something like that on more than one occasion then maybe we're on to something.

It's not just the little things that matter though, the big things play a part as well. Shoot introduce to me ya mama #soIknowitsreal lol. These tweets were hilarious but at the same time they spoke the truth about what a real relationship should be like. When someone really cares about you, you definitely know. And I don't mean today they show it and then tomorrow they don't. You'll really know. But this made me ask, what would you expect or want someone to do for you to show you it's real? I surely don't want anyone tattooing my name, but I'll list a few of mine below. Feel free to leave a comment and do the same! Don't be ashamed about it, it's all fun and games over here :)

Check out my list below!

XOXO,

LaBellaBoss ♥

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I Was Just Frontin'

For the most part, I'm one of those type of people who write about my feelings rather than speak on them. I write EVERYTHING down. I even write down important memories so I will never forget them as I grow older. On the contrary, this causes me to have a very hard time expressing my feelings and communicating in relationships. Instead I take those emotions and put them on paper. Also we all have insecurities of some sort whether it be your physical appearance, insecurities in your character or traits, relationships, family life... ANYTHING can make you insecure to some extent.

So here I am writing all these feelings down, and as I went back to read I realized that I am brutally honest with myself. Now I know that I'll never let anyone read what I write to myself. Ever. BUT what I write is so true and so real. I'm totally honest with myself about my faults and my flaws. I'm an open book and I know what I need to work on. I know what I do wrong (for the most part) and I know what my issues with myself are. Of course I don't go around telling everyone else these things, because it's not for everyone to know. However I don't go around making myself out to be something that I'm not either.

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[Positive Mondays] Please Don't Shoot Me Down

Throw your shades on for #PositiveMonday!! I hope everyone had a good day today to start off a good week, sorry I'm a little late on the post for today. I usually do these in the mornings between calls while I'm at work, but lately I haven't had much spare time. Anywho, I know I said I was going to do a video for every Positive Monday post to go along with the theme, however this post was something that I really wanted to put out there and I couldn't think of a song to go with it lol.

I was watching Lala's show earlier tonight where she had a conversation with her cousin Dice about her sexuality. Lala was basically telling Dice that she shouldn't worry about what other people would say about her having a girlfriend, she just needs to forget the rest and make herself happy. This inspired my post today because so many people I know, including myself, hinder ourselves from doing what we really want in life because we're afraid of what people will think.

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Violence Must Be Stopped

I just got the most disturbing news that someone from my hometown city was shot and killed tonight in an act of violence. I didn't know him very well other than from word of mouth and from being at the same places at the same time, but it touched my heart nonetheless. Check this... I live in a city of probably less than 30,000 people where everyone knows everyone. So when a death occurs, it impacts the whole community.

This guy was only 21 years old (younger than me) when he lost his life. This only made me think of my cousin Delvin who was only 19 when he was killed. Mind you that was over ten years ago. What does this tell us? Ten years later, violence is STILL a huge factor in our community, and it's even more sad because it's mostly between blacks only. So what is our problem? There's a question no one has any answers to!

I don't think our young men of today realize that once someone is killed, there are two lives that are really taken. One person will never get their's back, and the other will spend countless years behind bars. Don't we deserve better than this? I think so! There's really no excuse for the violent acts that take place in the world. So what if a dude looked at you funny, or if someone has more than you, or if there's a dispute over money?? Trust me money can't go with you if you're behind bars nor can it go with you to the grave. I think the young men in America today tend to get distracted by the hype they hear in music, see in videos, and hear about in the streets that they forget the importance of life. There's no way in hell you could ever enjoy these luxuries if you're not here to witness them, let alone take someone else's life.

I want to be one of those in my city who takes a stand against violence. I don't want to be wondering which one of my son's friends will get murdered in ten years. I don't want to have to worry about his well being in the streets either. This HAS to stop. I'm reaching out to my readers to get opinions on what can be done to stop the violence? If you have ANY suggestions or are willing to be apart of maybe a team to bring attention to violence in the city, let me know! You can leave a comment here after the post, or email me at dhairston89@gmail.com. If we don't stand for anything, we'll fall for nothing and God knows we are better than that!

XOXO,

LaBellaBoss ♥

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Only God Can Judge, Who The F Are You?

Let me just make this statement LOUD AND CLEAR lol, I would never do a post on these silly "basketball wives" unless I'm trying to prove a point. EVER. But in the case of how the other women treated Draya on Monday night's episode, I knew I had to go in. First of all who watches Basketball Wives? Honestly, I don't even know why I put myself through the headaches of this show every week but I guess any drama is better than your own lol.

Ever since Draya popped onto the scene for this show, her name has been run into the mud, dirt, and all the way down to the Earth's crust lol. At first I had mixed emotions about Draya because of the police report I heard was filed against her for leaving her son alone at home. But after watching the first few episodes of the show, I started to really like her. Every single chance these women get, they're bashing Draya. It's pathetic if you ask me. They even went as far as googling her name to see what they could pull up on her. Really?

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[Positive Monday] The ReMixed Life Campaign

I have had the wonderful chance of being able to help someone who inspires me to be all that I can, and it would only be right to share that experience with you! Neycha, who is an artist with a beautiful voice, is someone that I'm thankful to have had the chance to know personally. She's a very inspiring person and has a very big heart. She is the type of person who is always looking for what she can do to help someone else, and I don't think I've ever heard her say or do anything negative towards anyone else.

When she asked me to help promote this project for her, I quickly agreed to assist. She has started a campaign called The ReMixed Life to further inspire people in life. She works with adults in the field of personal growth, helping them to get their lives back on track after life altering circumstances. She says "she wants to get away from behind the desk and reach out to people from the stage again" as she once has before.

She plans to put her story into the form of an album as well as a short film. Neycha is asking that everyone donate $21 to help her raise $10,000 in 21 days (which isn't asking for much at all!) The funds are going to be used towards the makings of the album as well as the short film, as she will need studio time, producers, etc. I'm hoping that everyone will become a part of this movement, and even if you can't donate you can help get the word out about the project through social networking.

Make sure you watch the video above, that alone will show just how creative miss Neycha is! That VOICE is amazing and inspiring in itself! I'm anxious to see the finished results of The ReMixed Life campaign, I already know she will deliver! You can view the full page for her campaign here... Are you inspired yet?? #PositiveMondays :)

XOXO,

LaBellaBoss ♥

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This Little Game We Play

You know they say men and women alike love a chase, right? I have to agree in every way! I was thinking about this last night, and it hit me just how much we all love a good chase. How often do we find ourselves going after that one person who shows us the least interest? Now I'm not saying that we go for the worst possible people lol, but I do think we go for those that give us a chase rather than those who are readily available to us.

Think about it like this, if there are two guys/girls that you're into but one calls and texts you faithfully and the other does randomly but not all the time... which will you be into more? In this situation I'm not speaking of any serious relationships, but say you're just getting to know both. I can't speak for everyone else (and I may be backwards myself), but I would probably more interested in the person who I don't hear from as often. That person would just seem more intriguing to me, and personally I love a challenge. I'm not the type of person who wants someone who runs at my beck and call lol, so I do find myself "chasing thrills" more often than I should! I can honestly say most of the time I come out losing thinking like this, but hey at least I can be honest about it! Lol

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We Like To Party!



Coming up on November 11th, the Boss Chic Files' one year anniversary will be upon us! I seriously can't believe it's been a year already since I started this blog! There will be a lot of changes and new segments added to the blog to relaunch it after the one year anniversary. You can expect different contests, interviews, a section on food and wine, plus more! We will start giving out prizes to our most loyal readers, as well as hold contests to give out random gifts to show our appreciation!

One of the main things we having coming up is a party for the one year anniversary. It will be here in my hometown in Martinsville, VA on November 19th. The location is currently undisclosed, but of course my bosses and boss chics will be the first to know about it! I'm even planning to give away a few free tickets to some of my readers who are not in this area but would like to come party with us anyway :)

Things are definitely about to pick up for the blog, so you have to make sure you stay tuned for everything that's in store! Also if there are any people out there trying to get started like me who specialize in fashion designing, making jewelry, or have anything DOPE you want to get out there, you can email me at dhairston89@gmail.com and I'll see what I can do for you! I've done different blogs in the past to help people get their names out there, and I definitely don't mind helping people when I feel like they have something to bring to the table.

Stay bossy, never basic!!

XOXO,

LaBellaBoss ♥

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Let Go To Get One



How many times do we find ourselves waiting to make it official with someone that we really like or love? We all know how it is, you find the one that really catches your attention and while they may not be the most perfect person in the world, they fit you. After awhile feelings get involved, but things still never progress and you find yourself stuck in the same position time after time. You feel like you should hold on because you have developed a special bond with that person, but at the same time you feel like you'll never take it to the next level. Sound relateable?

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