Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Between Lovers

(I had to do it with the pic LOL)
  You ever been in a relationship and had a problem with your significant other telling their friends what goes on between you two?? Yeah so have I, and I've been on the end where I'm the one telling my friends (I'm human lol). It's never really an intentional thing to spill the beans on your whole relationship, but sometimes things are too good to be true and you just gotta tell somebody! Or maybe you and your partner are going through it and you could use an ear to spill the beans and get advice on what your next move should be. Whatever the case may be, there are some things that are ok to share with your friends, but some things need to be left between you and your partner.

Anything that your partner tells you that is directly dealing with their past, their personal life, or any life long issues that they may have let you in on should be kept between you two. How would you feel if you confided in your partner with some of your deepest pains from your past, then they turn around and tell their friends??  It's all about building a trustworthy relationship, and if you can't keep something personal to them inside, what can you hold?? These are issues they could have been struggling to deal with all their lives, so this is one thing you want to be sure to never speak of to anyone else.

Along with that, you should never mention your partners' business endeavors with your friends. Yes it's fine for them to know the general information, but don't go into too many details. There would be no reason for anyone of your associates to know how much your boo makes, how they spend their money, their bills etc. It's just unimportant and will give them reasons to talk and reason to want to know more. Also if your partner tells you any secrets about their friends, or they confide in you with others' secrets, it's up to you to keep that between you two. That right there lets them know you can't be trusted because they told you in confidence expecting you to keep it a secret.

You also need to be aware of talking about your problems to your friends. Not in the case where "people just wanna see you do bad anyway", but think about it like this... If you and your boo are having problems and you keep telling your friends every little thing, pretty soon they're gonna start feeling some type of way and thinking you can do better. But maybe they don't know the extent of the situation so they're judging based on what you're telling them.... and you're telling them all this in anger so it may seem worse than it is. It's gonna shed a negative light on your honey, and who will you turn to once you get back in good with the boo? Some things are better left unsaid!

This issue is especially common with us ladies, you know we LOVE to talk about our men (when we have a good one lol) but just beware that this can really hurt your relationship when it's all said and done. Before long your friends will start expecting you to fill them in on every detail of your relationship. At the end of the day what are you gaining other than your friends agreeing that you have a good man/woman? Absolutely nothing, and if you're confident in your relationship then outside ears won't be necessary. I'm not saying don't tell your friends ANYTHING, but just be careful not to reveal too much. I learned the hard way that relationships work best when outsiders know less ;) #bawse

-LaBellaBoss <3

No comments:

Post a Comment